Thrift Store, Food, and Xena

Whenever I visit family or family visits me, after their visit, their absence is heard in the silence, the lack of conversation and laughter. It's felt in the lack of them, the empty space that was so recently filled with a familiar, cozy presence.

It takes awhile to adjust and for things to feel normal again. Or as normal as my life ever feels.

But I should stop talking about the sadness and let you in on the holiday fun. Right after I picked up Lain from the airport on Christmas Eve, we drove to a second hand store called "Unique Thrift". Lain found a leather jacket and a retro-sequined shirt. I found a couple belts, a Santa pin, and a sweater. Not the huge, exciting finds we were hoping for, but it's the comraderie of the hunt that matters.

Christmas was mainly spent cooking and doing dishes. I've never done a holiday dinner where it took me all day to prepare things and we didn't even prepare that much, but the stuff was kind of putsy. First I made cookies and then a pumpkin pie -- get the sweets out of the way first.

Once the pie was done, I put in the turkey. I used a cooking bag, which I'd never done before. It certainly made the turkey tender but I also had some problems with the turkey wings sticking to the plastic. The turkey broke in half when I was trying to remove it from the bag, and Lain and I had to do some sculpting to try and make the turkey look presentable for my photos.

After I put the turkey in the oven, Lain started preparing his potato salad, which required a lot of peeling, boiling, cooling, and chopping. His potato salad is the best I've ever had and the guests we had over the day after Christmas agreed, so it's not just Mom pride talking.

Java watched all the chopping action, wondering if anything good was going to fall on the floor.

While Shy appeared to be a little anxious over all the commotion.

When the turkey was almost done, I started making the sweet potato fries. I read that if you soaked the cut up sweet potatoes in cold water for 20 minutes before baking, that they wouldn't be soggy. Well, mine still turned out soggy. I think maybe I used too much olive oil. I'll try and be more cautious next time. Plus, I used actual sweet potatoes (white) instead of the yams (orange) I've used before. I'm not sure if that makes a difference but regardless of the soggy factor, the course garlic salt, cracked pepper, and rosemary I put on them made the fries taste awesome.

So here was our Christmas dinner. This was the first time I'd actually used my refinished table and chairs. The chairs are comfy indeed.

Lain was too full to have any pumpkin pie. I was not.

Java enjoyed opening a present.

Shy enjoyed laying on her present.

I learned from my son that you can watch all six seasons of Xena, The Warrior Princess on Netflix's instant view. It was like old times as this was a regular weekly routine when Lain was a kid.

The day after Christmas, Lain and I drove to the Goodwill. I found another belt, a purse, a couple turtlenecks, and another sweater. It's been very cold at work this winter so I'm doing a lot of layering. Lain found a fur coat. We were both pretty disappointed in what Goodwill had to offer, but it's one of the few thrift stores that's open on Sundays.

Lain's sister (my stepdaughter) and her husband and son came over for dinner. Lain made turkey enchilades that were a big hit, along with his potato salad.

It's been a long time since I've had a six-year-old boy in my home. Java was quite the trooper. I now know that she is essentially child proof, but she was utterly exhausted after the visit.

It was a wonderful Christmas -- spent with family I haven't seen for awhile. It made my house feel more homelike, sharing it with the people I love.

Merry Christmas!

I picked up my son from the airport yesterday afternoon. The first stop was a second hand store where he was hoping he'd find some decent winter boots to get him through the weekend. Unfortunately, this did not happen but he did find a pretty cool leather coat.

I found a couple belts, a Santa pin and  a sweater. Woo! Hoo!

The boy is still sleeping. When he gets up, the cooking will begin. And hopefully, I'll get some good photos.

For now, I'll share these winter pictures.

Not only do I board at an awesome place to keep my horse and ride and hang out with great people, there is also land to cross country ski on.

A better photo than the one below would have been a photo of the person taking the photo as she had three horses looking over her shoulder trying to figure out what she was doing and whether that thing in her hands was something good to eat.

This is to show how deep the snow was that we were plowing through. We decided "skiing" didn't quite describe what we were doing. It was more like "skishoeing" -- a cross between skiing and snow shoeing.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Katzenjammer!

katzenjammer --
1. Hangover
2. Distress; depression
3. Confusion; clamor; uproar.

Etymology: from German, from Katzen, plural of Katze (cat) + Jammer (distress, wailing).

I'm going to find a way to throw that word into my conversations wherever possible...

Newsflash!
Another independent bookstore bites the dust!  J O'Donoghue Books in Anoka will be closing in February 2011. Damn you e-books!

But I did take advantage and buy some sheet music -- not because I want to drum these tunes out on the piano but because either the sheet music covers or the words to the songs interested me.

A few examples of the lyrics:

In the Land Where They Don't Say Goodbye -- I won't bother to quote the lyrics. From the title, you get the jist of it.

Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White -- Another love song, need I say more.

That's All I Want From You -- "A little love, that slowly grows and grows. Not one that comes and goes, THAT'S ALL I WANT FROM YOU..." blah, blah, blah...

Heart of Stone -- "Hearts made of stone will never break..."

Stolen Love -- "Darlin mine, how you deceived me, You spurned my love for someone new... Stolen love wil bring you sorrow... When you play with fire, trouble you borrow. Stolen love is a losing game."

And my favorite:

Hitsitty Hotsitty -- "My friends all think I'm goofy, They just can't figure me out... Hitsitty hotsitty, hootsie tootsie, It's a lovely day."

Yes, it's difficult to find any non-love themed music - new love, mature-everlasting love, lost love, angry love, pleading-down on your knees-begging love, go to hell love. It's all there.

Which is why I'll probably send the sheet music off with my son to see if he can create some art of it.

But as far as the friends all thinking I'm goofy, well, here's proof. Klatzenjammer! (3rd meaning) That's me in the middle on the couch at  a Christmas gathering of stable (double meaning?) pals. At least dogs find me irresistible.

Another bookstore find was a book on Baron Adolf de Meyer whose "camera defined the beauty and elegance of the 1920's." I wish I had more time to study photography and work on improving my own photos but here are a couple samples of Adolf de Meyer's work:

Mrs. Ronald Tree

Turkish Child

I know I'm bouncing all over the place here, but there was an owl in the tree when I arrived home. He was bigger than the owl I usually see, but I think this is the one I often hear at night, as this tree is right by my bedroom window. Unfortunately, it was too dark to get a clear shot (the owl is that blob in the top middle), but I liked the eerie beauty of the photo all the same.

White Knuckle Drive Home

It was one of those white knuckle, clenched jaw, leaning forward drives home after work today. I knew the snow was coming, which is why I went to work earlier than usual but somehow it didn't click in my brain that it would be better to drive the truck than the Mini. Although, the roads have become so narrow with the snow plows not quite clearing more than one and a half lanes on side roads, that the Mini does a better job as far as fitting through a tight squeeze.

At least people were being careful for the most part because the roads were slick. There were quite a few accidents on the freeways, which is why I opted for the slower, but safer side roads.

Java and I were supposed to have an obedience class tonight but it was cancelled. Thank goodness because I wasn't planning on venturing out again anyway.

So of course when I arrive home all stressed out, I cook. I don't know what to call this, since I just threw in stuff I had laying around. I cooked up some onion and garlic, threw in some chicken breasts to brown, saw 1/3 of a small bottle of burgundy cooking wine in the frig and threw that in. Then I added spaghetti sauce while I boiled the angel hair pasta. Threw the mix on a plate and added some grated up cheese.

For something thrown together, it tasted really good.

I needed some aroma therapy too so I lit the candle I won in the hula hoop contest.

And for after dinner, I made expresso and mixed in some frothed up eggnog. That tasted pretty good too.

All this was meant to gear me up to go out and blow some snow. Java listened intently to all the snow blowers thrumming in the neighborhood.

Alas, this chick is thinking that she'll wait until morning. I'll probably regret that decision when I have to leave my nice warm bed extra early, but oh well...

Too Tired To Title

Courage doesn't always roar.  Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.  -- Mary Anne Radmacher

Too bad this photo turned out blurry. Could have been a great photo of my hard drinking dog.

I'm not sure why she likes to sit like this. It doesn't look comfortable to me.

I rode Luke today. According to my car, it was 11 degrees out. I felt pretty cold at the beginning of the ride, but both Luke and I warmed up after awhile and it was a good ride.

This is my homeless horse, or at least that's what I call him in his patched up winter blanket that I believe I've had for at least 20 years. I had a nicer blanket on Luke but it was about 2 sizes too big.

Of course, when I approached the fence to take photos. everyone wanted their picture taken.

Yesterday, I only rode Luke for about 20 minutes because we were having a Christmas party at the stable and that's about all the time I had before the party started.

I may not be happy about all the changes in my life, but I am so glad to have these new friends. I'm hoping our hostess with the mostess gets her photos e-mailed to us soon because I think there will be some good ones of our hula hoop contest. The person who spun the hoop around the most times won a candle, and let me tell you how lovely that candle smells. Who knew my hips still had those kinds of moves left in them?

After I got home from riding today, Java and I went for a walk by the river.

It's been so cold that ice has formed, creating some interesting ice sculptures.

Java and I arrived home to see what is an almost full moon. 

December 21st is winter solstice, the moon will be full, there's supposed to be a lunar eclipse, and  Ursids meteor shower too. An eventful evening to look forward to.

Oh, and what does my initial quote have to do with my blog post? Nothing really, just encouraging words for me and anyone else that's feeling the need to know that tomorrow there's another chance to try, try again.

Leave Me Alone I'm Writing (or trying to)

It's almost 2011. It's that time of year when people evaluate the past and plan for the future, mainly thinking about what to do differently in the new year - exercise more, eat healthier, reduce debt, write a book, etc.

Probably the biggest change I've been trying to make this year is to not dwell on things. Because of this effort, when people ask me how I want the rest of my life to look, I don't want to answer. I don't want to think any farther ahead than what I need to get at the grocery store and whether my plants are due for watering. Beyond that, I start to get worried.

I'd rather think about how I am "being" rather than what I am "doing" or what I am "planning".

I've come to the conclusion that to want, to expect, to dream is to invite disappointment, failure, and loss. That may sound like negative thinking, that I'm expecting the worst, but I'm not. I just don't want to expect anything so that whatever happens just is -- there is no good or bad tied to it.

As much as that makes it easier for me to deal with my life now, I think it's made writing a book much more difficult. In fact, writing a full-length book feels downright impossible. I went through and created a more detailed outline of events and timing for my book yesterday and realized that I had too much for one book. My outline looked more like it was for THREE separate books.

One book is overwhelming enough but a series? Especially when what I want to write is the middle part of the story, but I think I need to write the first part to figure out the voice and personality of the main character. I need to see how she comes out of the crisis I'm writing her into.

It's one thing to journal or blog, where the writing is brief (OK, so I'm a little long winded) and doesn't have to link into something else.

To write a full length book, you have to sit still for extended periods of time. You have to think more deeply. You have to remember where you left off and where you wanted to go next. You have to think about developing your characters -- what their lives look like and where they are going to end up -- all the things I don't want to think about in regard to my own life.

So I don't know what to do. I feel a drive and a need to write this book that goes beyond any kind of rationality. Some message in my head says that I HAVE to write this book. I'm not very receptive to being told what to do or feeling the pressure of "You have to do this!"

It doesn't seem to matter that this drive and need comes from me.

I was plugged into my IPod at work today (to drown out the Christmas music) and heard the song "Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)" by Pink.

"Go away

Come back

Go away

Come back

Why can't I just have it both ways"

It made me laugh as the chorus could be my theme song when I enter -- writing mode.

To get the full effect, read "writing mode" with your gnarly head-voice, accompanied by a dissonant chord held ominously on a synthesizer.

I need my alone time to think, dream (oh, wait, I'm not supposed to do that!), and write, but when I slink out of my make believe world, eyes squinting against reality, and look around, I'm thinking, "Where is everyone? Damn I'm lonely."

Then when I get together with friends, someone will say something and I'll think, "What a perfect conversation for my character Kate to have". (Sorry people but I am robbing material from you all the time...) And then I'll be looking at my watch thinking of some excuse I can use to bug out.

That is, unless I'm in writing avoidance mode, which occurs after I've been working on something for awhile and that initial writing frenzy and energy have become merely a fond memory.

It's when my writing starts to look very amatuerish to me, when my characters seem to be lost and suffering from multiple personalities, it's when writing starts to become work.

It's when I start listening to music videos on YouTube, like this one, which I'm including because Pink's song uses the f-en-hymer a couple times, but if you don't mind that, I'd recommend watching it since it's kind of funny. This one is funny too, although it's not supposed to be.

It's All Relative

I was outside this morning for shoveling session number three. It was only about 8 degrees, with a real feel of around 2 below, but it seemed gorgeous out.

There was no wind and the sun was shining. Quite a difference from yesterday.

Plus, a funny thing happens to people who live somewhere that the winters are a bit harsh. At first, it feels so cold when the temps get below 40 degrees. But as the temps keep dropping, what feels warm keeps dropping too.

Well, and the layers of long underwear, wool socks, turtleneck, wool sweater, lined coveralls, down jacket, double-lined knit hat, face cover, mittens and hand warmers kind of help too. We just keep piling it on.

I spend a whole lot more money on winter wear than I ever do on summer clothes. Today I bought Under Armor compression tights and turtleneck at an outlet store. That brand is WAY expensive but I've been told they are worth every penny. I still couldn't justify the expense but I managed to find irregular tights and a turtleneck in lime green (that I guess no one wanted because it was cheaper than black or white). So I got both pieces for as much as I would have spent on just one of the pieces regularly priced. Score!

Speaking of lime green, Java found her frisbee buried in the snow. She's still hunting for her red ball though and looking a bit forlorn about it.

In order to drag my power shovel up a hill to the back yard so I could clear the deck again, I first trampled a path with my snow shoes -- any excuse to get out the winter toys.

Lori from Skoog Farm Journal asked me if I liked blizzards, and I have to admit, I do. Maybe I wouldn't if we had them all the time, but I enjoy variety in my weather. And I'm learning to make the most of whatever comes my way.

I found so much to enjoy this weekend -- not just skijoring with Java down the city streets before the snowplow removed all the snow, but even shoveling was fun. Warped, I know.

I just enjoy being outside and whatever comes along to give me an excuse to be out there.

Blitzard

Finally! A real Minnesota blizzard! I've missed these things.

Fortunately, I bought a new toy last weekend, a power shovel, in an attempt to save my shoulders and back.

It may look little, but it works pretty darn slick, like a snowblower but small enough to do stairs and decks.

I can't take credit for this bit of creativity. I saw a photo of something similar on the news.

Bucky Beaver was thankful to have the snow brushed off his head.

This is one hardy plant.

Java once again was enjoying running with and catching her ball.

Then she took off with one of my mittens, which I had removed to take some photos.

There are drawbacks to all this snow frolicking -- toe tweezing.

I love the snow, but not so much the wind.

Although it does make for some interesting window effects.

Well, time to head back out again for round two of snow removal.