Ups and Downs

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.  
--Will Rogers 

My fence passed inspection today - Yeh!

While working on switching out a rotting deck railing and missing flashing between my deck and house, my contractor discovered that the deck was not properly attached to the house -- like no rim joists, no sill plate, which has resulted in some leakage and rotted wood -- a lot of rotted wood. I'm now wondering if the "unique fabric" covering the ceiling in the basement, which I thought was so creative, is actually covering water damage. - Dang!

The deck can be fixed by making it free-standing with footings. The house damage will be fixed and something will be added to still bolt the deck to the house at the corners. It will be done the way it should have been built in the first place. - Yeh!

This deck and house work will be expensive but unavoidable if I want to prevent the situation from getting worse. - Dang!

My Last Will and Testament, Health Directive, and all that jazz are all completed and signed and I can now die in peace. - Yeh???

When I went out to my car the other morning I discovered that my two electronic garage doors were open. I never open both doors and I know I closed the truck side after I got home from my trip. - Dang it! Quit messing with me!

My opener's frequency has been changed and my security system is fully functional. - Yeh! 

Did I mention that I was terrified about trailering my horse for three hours by myself to get to last weekend's trail ride? I was. I almost didn't go. - Dang!

But I did go. - Yeh!

One would think that as a person does more and more things that they are afraid of doing they would experience less and less fear when faced with new challenges. Unfortunately, in my case, this has not been true... so far, anyway - Dang!

Hmmm... Need to finish this on a positive note.

How about a few more trail riding photos? These photos from one of the other riders turned out so much better than mine!

The woman who owns and rents out the cabin was in the lead.

I love the mossy green of this one.

Lunch and butt break.

My friend's pretty little Arab mare

Pretty scene...

And more prettyness

Superb!

I'm just back from an awesome weekend riding with a couple other women up north!

Okay, so it wasn't exactly horse camping. We stayed in this incredible cabin -- a place called Went North.

The horses were right outside, where we could see them from the dining area.

I loved this -- corrals with shelters for each horse. I get to put off my phobia of tie lines for awhile longer...

There was also a bigger area where we could let the horses out to stretch their legs and graze. Luke took the opportunity to get in a good roll as the cloud cover encouraged the gnats to come out in all their glory. The horse with Luke is his pasture mate from where we board so it was like home away from home.

We arrived when the sun was setting Friday night. Fortunately, we had bright moonlight and our trailer lights to help us get set up.  We got the horses settled in with some hay and water, brought our things into the cabin, and spent some time visiting. It had been a 3 hour drive up to Went North, so we were pretty tired and didn't last long before we went to bed.

It had started raining sometime during the night and was misting while we cleaned up corrals and fed the horses. By the time the horses and humans had their breakfast, the rain had stopped. The clouds looked questionable but we were optimistic.

It turned out to be a great day for riding. Bow hunting for deer and grouse hunting were open, thus the orange vests.

Trees were starting to change and there was quite the pallet of color -- bright red, yellow, lime green, and rusty orange. We skipped crossing the river as it was too high. It would have been okay on a warm day but it was too far from the cabin to risk getting soaked in the cold.

We oohed and aahed over the colors, the sound of horses' hooves crunching the leaves, and the damp-rich-earthy smells. I laughed at Luke, who seems to quite enjoy splashing through water, giving the surface a couple extra WACKS! with his right front hoof. My friends learned to keep some distance away from his puddle playing. I wonder if he learned that from Java?

We rode about 4 hours in the morning. We stopped for lunch break after a couple hours and I made the mistake of giving Luke a taste of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Grass was no longer good enough. He wanted more. He got half my apple too. A begging horse is way worse than a begging dog...

We stopped back at the cabin to give our bodies a break. But then decided we wanted to go out again for an hour before going into town for dinner.

An hour trail ride turned into two hours when we had a few issues with a dead end trail and a puddle that seemed to go on forever. We went through quite a few puddles, some pretty deep, but we didn't feel like tackling one that had no sides to escape to and that we couldn't see the end of.

We made it back before the sun set, fed the horses their dinner, then headed out for ours at Companero, a Mexican restaurant in Dorset. Good margaritas, good food, good fried ice cream. Early bedtime again.

Sunday morning, same routine -- feed horses, feed humans, ride. This time I got to be the hunter alerter in my red sweatshirt jacket.

We got in 3 hours before we had to get ready to head back home.

This weekend was the stuff of dreams, my dreams, of spending time with friends, enjoying each other's company and our love of trail riding. Is there a word stronger than superb and awesome? Because that would describe it.

Planning for My Animals' Future -- Just In Case

It used to be simple. If anything happened to me, there was still my spouse -- to take care of business, make decisions, and do whatever needed to be done. We had a Will and a Living Will.

Simple.

But now things like who decides when to pull the plug becomes more complicated. Is that a decision you can make over the phone since my family lives in other states? Can anyone fly in on a moments notice?

And for those of us who own animals, what happens to them?

I'm in the process of drawing up my Will and was creating a separate addendum to designate what happens to my animals, but as I do some research, I'm thinking this is not an area my lawyer is very knowledgeable about or she would be asking me more questions and giving me more guidance.

Most of the information I've found on the internet is about designating a trust for the animal, selecting a trustee to handle the money, and primary and secondary guardians to take care of the pets. The trustee should also regularly check out that the guardians are taking proper care of the pets. One would hope that you had people to choose from that wouldn't require checking on.

Some state have specific statutes on pet trusts -- what they can and cannot do, how long they can be in effect, whether they only cover animals that were a part of the household when the document was written, and so on. Minnesota has no laws to cover this issue.

I don't want to go the route my Dad did. He didn't designate what was to happen to his animals and no money was set aside for their care. Because of this, his two remaining horses almost ended up going to auction. You can imagine what would happend to a 26 year old gelding at an auction.

But I don't like how complicated setting up a trust is. After all, the trust amount and the people designated could change as my life changes, the animals' needs change, or if another animal is added to the household, etc. I want something that is easy to ammend as needed, isn't overly complicated, and doesn't require ongoing monitoring by a trustee.

I was hoping I could set aside enough money to provide for what I think it costs to take care of Luke for one year. The person designated as his guardian could then decide to sell Luke or keep him to use themselves. If they kept him, they would then take on the cost of caring for him after the designated money was used up. Of course, as Luke moves into retirement age, a trust would make more sense as he would no longer be useable as a riding horse and I'd want to ensure he was taken good care of.

It seems less complicated to find a home for a dog or cat. Their needs are not as complicated. No barn required. But there again, it depends on the age and thus, the medical costs and difficulty of taking care of the animal. So what I would set up for Java and Shy now, could change in the future. Not to mention, that other animals may come and go into and out of my life.

So when you don't have a partner, someone who looks out for you and those you love, life and death get to be even more complicated than they normally are. But even if you are married or somehow partnered up, there may be at least portions of this information on providing for your pets that you might want to think about.

And if you have any ideas or information of your own. Please pass it on to me.

Here is some helpful information that I found:

• "Pet Trusts" by Nancy Blaney - Excellent article on things to consider in providing for your pet in case of an accident, illness, or death. Made me think of things I hadn't thought of like carrying something to ensure that someone would know I have pets at home that need care and having instructions posted in plain sight on what to feed them. Also lists additional sources of information.  http://www.2ndchance4pets.org/PDF/DDAL.pdf 

• Pet Guardian - Service to help you draw up a pet trust plan. Will help you calculate how much you should put into a trust. Problem? Costs $500 to have them draw up the plan but you can change it as much as needed after that without further cost. http://www.petguardian.com/common.php?v_section=1

• Professor Beyer website - He provides a list of states that have pet trust statutes and links to read what they are. Unfortunately, no statutes for MN. http://www.professorbeyer.com/Articles/Animal_Statutes.htm

• Website for 2nd Chance for Pets - You can print off an Emergency ID Card to carry. Be sure to read the newsletter, which has some excellent information and helpful forms. http://www.2ndchance4pets.org/index.html

Alignment

Last week was one of those kinds of week. Work was crazy. Every night I came home beat, unable to focus and get anything done, and frustrated because there is so much I should get done.

Yes, my fence is finished and I am certainly thankful for that! But now I desperately need to seal the wooden portion of my fence so the cedar doesn't turn an ugly gray. And I should be doing that right now. But I spent a good part of the day doing some lawn work.

I so need a self-propelled lawn mower! I'm borrowing a push mower because my lawn tractor won't climb these hills. I know they don't look like much but my legs say that they are mountainous.

And I have all these sticks to clean up. What the heck is with hiding lawn litter in the woods?!

This would have been a good idea if it was in the sun. I don't think composters in the shade do very well. Maybe add worms?

Of course, Java likes the abundant supply of chew toys.

Along with the sealing of the fence, the deck needs to be pressure washed and sealed. But it also needs a new rail and a flashing should be installed between deck and house, which means pulling out some boards and the bottom row of siding. Why don't people do things right in the first place?

And I still haven't painted the front door.

So the riding lesson I'd been look forward to on Saturday afternoon just became one more thing to do on my list. Plus I hadn't ridden since last Saturday so I was thinking how Luke and I haven't worked much on what we were taught last month and what a total horse-person loser I am.

I rushed out to the barn last minute because as is my usual style, when I have somewhere to be, I try to get a bunch a stuff done beforehand. Too many things. There was cookie baking.

And my bread baking time almost made me late for my lesson.

So I drove like a lunatic, waited for Luke to quit running away from me, did a slam-bang grooming and tacking up job, and then warmed up for the lesson. I was feeling pretty stressed and cranky.

But then I rode. And I breathed. And I felt that connection that aligns my world again.

I wish I had photos because I hear we looked amazing.

I am so proud of my Luke. Mary Beth said we were going to push him to do things that were probably going to frustrate him. We were going to try to shorten his frame. We were going to try and put some hesitation in his trot, some half halts.

She expected Luke to get a bit testy and act up. But bless my even-keel horse (thank God one of us is), besides leaning on my hands at times, he did it! All of it! We even got a 3 beat canter out of him for a few strides! Because he's gaited, that's tough. It's natural for him to do a 4 beat canter.

What really got me to appreciate what Luke was managing was when Mary Beth explained just how hard it was for horses, especially one built like Luke, to do what we were asking. She told me about another client who put a heart monitor on her endurance horse.

The horse could go just fine to the left, his good side. He went 9 mph and his heart rate was steady and at a good level. Going to the right, his bad side, he could only go 7 mph and his hear rate doubled. This was a horse that could go 100 miles in two days, but was exhausted after 20 minutes of dressage.

So like I said, I am so proud of my little mutt horse. Mary Beth said his trot is very light and pretty. The canter is tough because of the gaitedness, but can be improved little by little.

During the lesson, she had me wait to feel Luke lighten in front, then tickle his hind quarters with my whip before asking for canter to get him to tuck his tail and scoot his rear underneath himself more, ask for canter and let my inside rein out to allow him to lift forward. The last canter we picked up, the one that was three beat, was so light and smooth, I'm sure my smile went from ear to ear.

We go back to trot after a few strides of canter so we are always working on a good canter and stop before it goes flat and unbalanced. Hopefully, his muscles will remember the feeling with repetition and he'll be able to maintain it longer and longer.

And the other piece that made my whole day and may sustain me for the rest of my harried work week? Mary Beth said I have a good feel when I ride. I do the right things at the right time. I have good timing. That I have natural ability.

Wow! Hearing that meant the world to me.

Riding feels like home to me. It's where I feel right. It's nice to get confirmation that what I feel, is not just pride and wishful thinking.

My instincts on a horse are good. I can trust myself in this. And maybe I can trust myself in other areas as well.

From Melancholy to Extraordinary

I passed my X at work today. It struck me how awkward I felt just saying hello. How can you be with someone for over 10 years and feel so clumsy just saying hello?

You know how it is when you get in a fight with your best friend and you stop speaking and it just keeps haunting you? Maybe you don't, but I do and this ending of a marriage feels much the same way. He was, after all, my best friend... until he wasn't.

My life has opened up since we divorced. I've been let out of a box and I love what I get to do now and the people I get to be with. Yet I struggle with the opposing feelings of knowing that I'm better off, and still missing the person I met eleven years ago. He's not the same man now as the one I met back then. In the same way that I am not the same woman that he chose to divorce. I feel a million miles away from that woman. But maybe it's only apparent to me.

Which is why it's so awkward, seeing him like that.

In essence, we are strangers. But I still see him, or the person I used to know. And I wonder if he sees me or if he just sees a mistake.

I heard the song "Hurt" sung by Johnny Cash on the way to work this morning. The line that got the tears going was:

"Everyone i know, goes away in the end." 

Too much truth to that statement.

And one of my biological brothers is in town, the one who was given up for adoption a little over a year after I was. Talking about our feelings and experiences kind of gets to me too. I feel like my nerves are on top of my skin. Too raw and exposed.

After finishing my work in the building my X works in, I drove to the building I work at. I heard the song "Better Things To Do" by Sharon Jones while I was driving. In that song, the line I clung to was:

"I got a new life and I'm feeling right on

My head is high and my spirit is strong"

Not to abruptly switch topics and moods, but I do that sometimes, I just have to say that -- the fence was finished today! I had to work until 7 PM so I couldn't see the last piece that went up very well in the dark.

Yesterday, this side piece went up and Java was checking it out.

She found a stick too. I think she'll be dragging quite a few limbs (of the tree branch kind) out from the woods unless I clean them up somehow.

One last song. I heard this one on my way home, "Extraordinary Machine" sung by Fiona Apple.

"If there was a better way to go then it would find me

I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me

Be kind to me, or treat me mean

I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine "

That's how I'd like to think of myself, an extraordinary machine that makes the most of wherever life takes me.

(You may want to fast forward past the first 20 seconds of the video...)

Progress of Some Sort

I went to a play on Thursday called "The Scottsboro Boys" at the Guthrie in Minneapolis. First we went to the Kindee Thai Restaurant. I had the Drunken Noodle, which was fabulous!

I didn't know the Scottsboro boys story until I looked it up before going to the play. I had the feeling the play was not going to be "fun" as it was about a trial that took place in the early 30s in Alabama. Two white girls accused 9 black males of raping them. Even when one woman recanted her story, the sentences merely went from death to life imprisonment. One boy was only 13. Even though all but one man was released from prison eventually, the stories of their post imprisonment life were pretty tragic too.

The unique thing about the play is that it was told by a group of men in the form of a minstrel show. So there is song and dance and humor, but it was a form of humor where you laughed but then looked around, unsure whether laughter was really appropriate.

Great play! Great job by the actors! Well written! And I'm glad to have heard the story, but it was tough to swallow and left me feeling kind of haunted afterwards.

Here is a photo taken from the Guthrie lookout area of the historic Minneapolis riverfront district.

Saturday was a treasure hunt of sorts. I was trying to find a low bench or table to go under my living room window to put my cactuses on. The cactuses were outside but cold evening temps are a comin'. I found a table at the French Flea Market in Anoka and added a couple place mats to put the plants on.

Then at Nic Nac Paddywacs I found a stool to match the one stool I had. The new stool is on the right in the photo. A few inches need to come off the legs to get it to the right height but how cool is that match?

But here's what you've been waiting for, a fence update! Fence day 2 -- the privacy fence and gate are up.

Day 3 -- the posts and one side of the chain link are up.

These are the posts at the back of the lot.

And the posts on the side that leads to the gate.

Progress!

Trail Photos, a Reading, and Fencing Day 1

I just had to post a few photos that one of my fellow trail riders took. I so rarely get photos beyond the ones taken between Luke's ears.

Not sure if you can very clearly see the bridge behind me, but I was pretty happy about getting over it without any problems.

I think I was digging for my camera or a snack in this photo. Very serious biz.

Smirking? Or perhaps cheeks full of whatever I dug out of my pack?

I look dorky but I think Luke looks great in this photo. He's put on some muscle.

And the infamous back view...

Last night, a friend and I went out for drinks and appetizers before we went to a reading at The Loft across the street. A fellow blogger, journalist, and writer named Laurie Hertzel recently had her book "News to Me" published.

She is now busy doing all the interviewing, readings, and publicity stuff that goes along with being published. She had a great turn out and did a wonderful job entertaining us. Below is a photo of attendees enjoying food and beverages after the reading. You can see better photos at Laurie's blog.

Today was Day 1 of my fence installation

I have a few privacy fence posts up and the fence panels are ready to go up tomorrow after the cement dries. The privacy portion is only 3 panels. The rest of the fence is black coated chain link. If the weather cooperates, the rest of the posts should go in tomorrow.

The steps on this side of the deck will be removed. Eventually, when I can swing it, the area between the deck and fence will be all rock with some kind of water feature. I'm dreaming of boulders, a small Java sized pond, a few plants, and water cascading into the pond to help drown out some of the neighbor noise and make a peaceful oasis to sit by. A lot to ask out of such a small space, but I think it's doable.

I was hoping the old playhouse in the photo below could be fixed up to use for my gardening supplies and to have as a place to repot and start seedlings, but it's too rotted and will have to be torn down, along with the little bit of fencing around it. I'm not sure yet whether I'll put up a new shed or perhaps put in a fire pit or just plant some more bushes and plants out there. The building right next to my shed belongs to my neighbor, so there's not a lot of room to work with.

I can't wait to see how the fence looks by the weekend! Keeping my fingers crossed that it will get done.